Friday, 14 November 2008

Sex Ettiquette

To the guy who I met last Wednesday night:

I do realize that NSA sex is just that. But please for the love of GOD follow these simple rules if you ever want to get laid.

1. Shower before meeting a potential sex partner.
I took the time to shower and clean every orifice. I sprayed myself with Dolce and Gabbana and smelled damned good. But you smelled like feces. You could have at least showered. I could smell the BO and it was definitely not a turn on.

2. Clean your house.
I thought gay men were suppose to be neat and tidy. You weren't. There was cat poop on your carpet! The smell of your house was overwhelming. It was a mixture of cat urine and cat poop. I wanted to puke.

3. No means NO!
When I say "this isn't happening", Don't chase after me. Even if you looked like Brad Pitt, but smelled like SHIT, I will NOT blow you.

Thanks for a ruined night. I knew I should have said yes to the other guy who showed me a face pic!

No comments: