Wednesday, 9 January 2008

the Sam Saga Continues

I've been spending an inordinate amount of time with Sam lately. I still don't know what we are. We haven't discussed exclusivity or anything like that. The first time we met after his three-week vacation in Thailand was electric. I came over his apartment to return his keys and drop off his mail. As soon as I walked into the door, he hugged me and we kissed. Eventually we found our way to his bed. The sex was amazing. As he reached the throes of orgasm, he blurted "I love you."

I was silent. I'm hoping he didn't notice that I didn't say it back.

He took me out to dinner last night and he answered what had been bugging my mind.

"Why me?" I asked while cutting into my veal.

"What do yo mean?"

"What do you like so much about me?"

"You always know how to make me laugh." he said matter-of-factly.

I smiled and held his hand under the table. It's our thing. We hold hands under the table.

It still doesn't quell certain anxieties which I am experiencing. I am always on guard that this relationship could end at any moment. Also, what happens at the end of the year when I do graduate and decide to move to another city. So many questions. Then again I am overanalyzing things.

Sometimes it's best to just enjoy the moment.


Quentin X said...

Que sera, sera.

Q The Conqueror said...

Enjoy the moment. :) Live it, love it, BUT beware of Lolit Solises taking photographs of you and Sam in very compromising positions. :P

wanderingcommuter said...

this post made me sad. simply because i really felt your love for him so real.

keep it up. both for posting more blogs and giving more love.

Anonymous said...

These are moments to cherish! and tnx for sharing them with us! :)

cant_u_read said...

love is a wonderful thing. why proceed with caution?

Anonymous said...

Mare, I hope you won't regret the time he goes away without even telling him how you feel.

I thank you...bow.

chase said...

awww.. how cute.. holding hands.

sam? it better not be sam milby.. 'coz i will kill you. hhehahaha..

John Halcyon von Rothschild said...

thank you for all the comments. i am encouraged and very touched.
@quentin-patti page isdatchu?

@q- that's why i have my trysts in secret hotels. lol.

@wanderingcommuter- thanks for visiting my blog! thanks for the advice!

@josh- yes. we should all step back once and a while and cherish what we have.

@rye- i use caution with love because the pain will be almost unbearable.

@empress- i've already done that once. i'm not about to do it again. salamat mare.

@chase- you can have sam. as long as i get andrew wolfe. :P