Thursday, 29 November 2007

How to Plan a Coup.

"Do you know of any other countries where coup attempts are staged from luxury hotels?"
-Jessica Zaffra

I first heard of the attempted coup/mutiny/incident while reading Reyna Elena's blog.
My first thought was "why do something that FAILED the first time again?" I was there in 2003 when the same Trillanes took Oakwood while I was staying at the Intercon. I thought I would have to evacuate and run screaming to the Embassy. Anyway here are some tips for future coup plotters...

1. Make sure you have more than 30 men. In fact, make sure you have over half of the military on your side.

2. Ousting the President would actually mean physically extracting her from the Palace. This means that you and your men have to leave the luxury five-star hotel and march across Mendiola into Malacanang Palace.

3. Be articulate. Not like this:
Trillanes: “Like soldiers, we’re going to face this.”
Reporter: “Sir, how are you going to face this?”
Trillanes: (after a beat) “Whatever.”
From the McVie Show

4. Make sure you have the successor, ie. the Vice-President on board, make sure you have Cabinet Members, Congressmen, and the Middle Class on your side.

5.Have an actual plan.

6.Be prepared to die if necessary

7. Did I mention leave the luxury hotel?

Well, following these simple rules should allow for a successful coup. Remember it's easier to have a coup than to actually govern. If you should fail to meet any of these criteria, I suggest not starting a rebellion.

It's just my opinion.


Streams of Consciousness said...

..AND make sure your military uniforms are pressed...bad creases don't look good on photos :-)

reynz said...

hehehe!!! love your number 3! hahaha! ansama nga pakinggan ni Trillanes as in! ano to? nakatapos ba to nang high school???

Bryan Anthony the First said...

i say trilanes is stupid.

chase said...

heheheh.. good tip. hehehe
sayang cute nga naman si papa trillanes. hahahahah

niki said...

i love #7. lol.

John Halcyon von Rothschild said...

@streams- yes. it should be designed by Hugo Boss

@reynz- lolz. thank you for mentioning my post! i was ecstatic.

@bryan- couldn't agree more!

@chase- u know my Grandma likes him too. she has a thing for rebels i guess...

@niki- thank you for visiting my blog!

Thanks everyone for the comments. Sorry I respond a bit late...blah blah blah! 'tis the season. Have a fabulous holiday!

Metro said...

Napadaan mula sa mahal na reyna! I'll keep this list in mind when it's my turn to oust GMA from the post. LOL!

John Halcyon von Rothschild said...

@metro- thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment! :)