Wednesday, 23 May 2007

Thinking at Night

So Here I am in the middle of the night and am still as restless as evarrr. I can never force myself to sleep because it makes me reflect on my life especially my love life or rather the lack thereof. I can't stop thinking of HIM and HE knows who he is...I just wish we could be together. Damn the Distance!
I know. I know. LDR's never work out etc. etc. I just loved how he can see right through me. It must be nice to have someone. I guess...I really really really like him and miss his voice and our conversations. I should just swallow my pride and call him. But the last time I did was in SF. I was drunk. My bff's said I said something to the effect of "I want to have sex with you at the St. Francis Hotel where we can have a view of Union Square and Louis Vuitton." Apparently I kept on telling him I much I loved him and he replied I love you too ( I think. I hope.)
Nothing will ever come out of it. He has a bf now.

I got this quote from flash's blog:
"But don't get me wrong, being not an irreplaceable person doesn't mean always mean that you're a very good person. The other person, who might think he isn't good for you, may feel he isn't irreplaceable, so he'll exit himself out of your perfect life..."

Exit out of my perfect life. I miss him. I'm becoming a desperada.

I made my super secret plans known to the parentals: That I would move to SF after I graduate. They were kinda happy. Mother plans to buy a house in the old country and start some sort of business (she's not that good at handling money). Dad want to move to Seattle (I'm dubious about that plan). They figured they can move to the West Coast. I think all of us have had enough of the Sunshine State. Too much sun. Too much cancer (poor dad got skin cancer last year. it's ok now though). and TOO MANY OLD PEOPLE! People come to Florida to die, as my friend Tom always said. I always thought they'd get divorced. But now separation is in the negotiations. Divorce is icky and messy. Kaloka! ang parentals ko!
Anyway I realized that I was getting older. Old enough that my parent's don't just dismiss my ideas...Ah! the power of youth!
Mother absolutely loved her new LV damier azure pochette. Something she can put her makeup in. Something she can stick inside her even larger bag.

One of my purchases in SF was a body scrub made from Dead Sea Salt and body butter from Onsen. I was apprehensive in purchasing at first since I only use Clinique. But the body butter smells so goooood on me. Wish I had a b/f I can share it with. hehe. :( But I don't. Oh well.

I love love love H&M! I wish there was one here in the land that time forgot...errr Tampa. At least we have LV, Dior, Neiman, and Saks.

Thnks to Tactology for the comment. You can read his blog. Here.


Flash Lightbringer said...

here's what I tell my friends everytime they encounter the desperate moments...

"love yourself first. you wouldn't be desperate in the first place if you know you're being loved. take time to ponder, relax. Enjoy your life. It doesn't mean that you didn't get him doesn't mean the end of the world. The ocean is big, there are LOTS of fish out there... So instead of moping around, why don't you go get yourself a rod?"

But that is only applicable if you prefer to be the one to get a fish, but in your case, it seems that you are the fish, waiting to be caught... All I can say is, be the right fish - be colorful, be alive, be wanted.

Fishermen doesn't want to catch a worthless fish anyway. =)

So goodluck!

empress maruja said...

I'm glad that you're blogging again!

I agree, LDR never works.